Dear dear online sanctuary,

right now I've got myself in a mess. I thought the place that I wished so hard to get into was a haven. What could've gone wrong? I had motivation, I had determination, wasn't that all I needed? Well no, it's wasn't enough, and what I signed up for was actually hell on earth. What's wrong with this place you ask? The mastermind. The person who's in-charge of it all.

Scolding scolding scolding. That's all I remember from training. I don't find happiness in improving myself anymore, I see it as a chore now. Just to go down and get scolded. Don't you know any other way to communicate? You always talk about using the best methods but what you're using is the worst. It makes people want to walk away and never come back and all you do is scold the rest as though it's their fault when they're the ones that are keeping it alive. You blame yourself too but have you ever asked yourself what is that problem about you that makes people want to stay away? Guess not.

I hate being forced to do things. I HATE IT. You're gonna tell me things like: Well get used to it. But seriously, how can a person improve exponentially without the want to. Impossible, all that happens is little and slow improvement. All I think about is leaving. Leaving this screwed up place 'cos all it gives me is STRESS I SWEAR OMG AND I'M SERIOUS.

This is no RANT post. 'Cos even after I talk about it, no weight is gone -.- This is s e r i o u s.

On the bright side. I took of my braces :)